Do you remember your dreams?
Yes. Here are this week's highlights:
- Joan Rivers was at my house and kept trying to put her legs on me while we were on the sofa watching telly. She did let me look through her hair for the plastic surgery scars though and gave me a Mark Ryden print.
- There was a thunder storm and I could see the lightening through the cracks in the bathroom wall.
- My dad had a date with a lady and then confessed afterwards that he'd kissed her. I was trying to be supportive and encouraging but inside was screaming.
- And packing. Always with the packing.
Today is Name Your Poison Day. So make a decision and tell us: what's your poison?
There's enough formaldehyde under the sink to choke a horse.
Show us how you get around town.
I get around town where the people look good and the music is loud.
Cor, what am I like? I forgot some of my Most Important Objectives for my list of resolutions:
Bring SparMo to life
Finish writing our super shiny fanzine stupid college work getting in the way
Start swing dancing again
Never get so drunk that I vaguely invite strangers to come to my parties. Who then ring on new year's eve. And turn up. And not leave until people are starting to feign sleep. And even then have to be ushered out. Never, never again.
Send birthday and christmas cards presents so they get there ON TIME. I've got a year to get this one right but perhaps I should start by buying small presents, which do not warrant a trip to the post office.
There's been loads of stuff I've been wanting to write about but being as how THEY WON'T LET ME BLOG AT WORK, it's difficult to remember it all. I'll give it a whirl though.
As usual, Yags has made all the best resolutions but here's my effort:
Wear more sequins
This is going very well as I spent New Year's Eve tottering around in a sequinned cape, which was slightly askew at the end of the night. This is also part of:
Dress like a superhero
Although I seem to be turning into DRAG GIRL. Watch out before I put a wig on you! I plan to wear exciting shoes and clothes adorned with lightning bolts.
Clear the mysterious corner of carrier bags in my bedroom
It doesn't sound like much, but I could probably get a small sofa, or a wardrobe or a fabulous antique writing desk if I got rid of all that crap.
Master the art of making felt
I can sort of do it, but the stuff my friend makes is much more robust. I want to make a fuzzy table runner and some more corsages.
I'll add more as and when I think of them.
I finally got around to buying a new diary today and in the spirit of credit crunchiness and impending unemployment, I bought one from Aspinall as it was the half the price of a Liberty one (it's all relative, innit? And anyway, I use it every day so I might as well have a nice one. I acclimatised by looking at the Smythson ones first. They're EIGHTY POUNDS for a tiny one). However, much as it's cute and turquoise leather with a pink ribbon book mark, it is proving slightly inferior. It doesn't have a tube map, it tells me when Martin Luther King day is, instead of Passover and in the boxes for Important Numbers, there are spaces for Domestic Help, Florist, Dry Cleaner and Nanny. Sorry, my mistake, the Nanny is actually in the Emergency column.
Finally, here are some more reasons why my dad rocks the hardest:
1. When I told him about my crappy Spanish mark, he said 'so?' in the tone of voice he might have used had I said 'I ate one of your apples'.
2. He also used that same tone of voice when I asked him why all his philosophy books were in French or German 'yes? doesn't everyone?'
3. I mentioned in passing that he smelled nice (my dad always smells nice, even if it's something from Pound Stretcher. I, on the other hand, can put on something by Chanel (usually Cristal, which is so delicious on my friends) and the smell makes your eyes water) and he said 'Oh yes, I was feeling a bit down after I lost the money I had invested so I bought the Christian Dior Farenheit gift set. Not just aftershave but shower gel and lotion as well!' Needless to say, he completely understood my need for a sequinned cape. I'm all about the cape.
What a wonderful weekend with the other Ms Ks. I met up with K1 on Friday night; brought together by the power of the internet after not having seen each other for six or seven years and we picked up exactly where we left off and were talking about boys and shoes and bad relationships before we'd even finished our first drink. We tottered up in our lovely shoes to the bar where my friend DJs and danced to synth bands and electropop and got drunk and giddy. My favourite bit was when we were having a very in depth conversation about her relationship and what she's not happy about it and K1 said 'Sorry, I'm getting really philosophical about this now. No. Not philosophical. What's the word I'm looking for?' ... pauses... 'oh yes. Drunk'. I'm very pleased to be back in touch with her, so hooray for the internet.
The following day, K2 came down to see Nick Cave. It's been years since she came down on her own (her boyfriend dropped her off, saying; 'If I'm not there, you pair are just going to be flashing at Nick at the first opportunity, aren't you?' K2; 'I think you're overestimating your powers to stop us doing that anyway'). The Troxy is an amazing venue and we got onside with my friend's girlfriend that they should totally get married there. It's a beautiful art deco building, with amazing acoustics and Nick didn't fail to disappoint (unlike last time, when he was wearing jeans and a t-shirt and forgot all the words. We could only conclude that his power to perform is inextricably linked to being in smart tailoring. A bit like Sampson, only with three piece suits instead of hair).
Then home, for chips and cake and more gossip.
I am home again today; the frames are ready and the new windows are going in. Eee! I had to fill the gaps with newspaper over the weekend but I think that tonight, I should be toasty warm. Can't wait.
Number of cups of tea offered to Window Man - eleventy. At least.
Number of cups of tea accepted by Window Man - 2. And that was only after I practically begged.
Hours spent doing Spanish assignment - 0
Minutes spent doing Spanish assignment - 11 (approx.)
Hours spent on Vox/facebook/emailing/squealing - 50 (approx)
Hours spent looking at shoes - 2.5
Trips to the gym - 1
Pairs of shoes bought - 1
Hours spent on philosophy reading - 1
Hours spent on reading cookery books - 2. Oh dear.
Bargain Basement
- My skin. I've no idea why it's so bad - I'm still availing myself of the free fruit and mineral water at work and yet, I'm practically covered in boils.
- I still haven't found the perfect placemats for my gorgeous new dining table and guests are still being forced to put their plates on magazines. John Lewis has some nice ones, yet they all state 'Not heatproof! Do not allow to come into contact with food, or anything hot, or hot food'. What the shit are they for then?
- One of my favourite clubs is homeless again and I have yet to find a suitable replacement dancing and dressing up opportunity.
- I'm feeling overwhelmed by all the work I've got to do (NB college work, not, heaven forfend, actual work).
Liberty Christmas Shop
- I got a B+?+ for my first philosophy assignment. Apparently [this is good], but philosophers won't commit to something so crass as actual marks, hence this ambiguous code.
- I get my new windows next week. Unfortunately, that means I'll have to greet my house guest with a boarded up hole in the wall but I doubt she'll notice, because...
- We're going to see Nick Cave! Eee!
- Radisson Hotels sent me an advent calendar. With chocolate and everything.
- Despite the plague of boils, I am having a good hair day.
What "old fashioned" cultural behavior do you wish still existed in these modern times?
Hats, gloves, manners, letter-writing, dances, afternoon tea, stepping out and Ponds cold cream to take care of all your skincare needs.
